When people hear the word trauma, they often think of extreme events: war, assault, serious accidents, or catastrophic loss. Many people quietly rule themselves out.
“I didn’t go through anything that bad.”
“Other people had it much worse.”
“Nothing dramatic ever happened to me.”
And yet, in therapy rooms, trauma shows up every day in people who never expected it.
This is because trauma is not defined by the event.
It is defined by how the nervous system experienced and stored that event.
As Living Free’s Clinical Director Reshie explains:
“Trauma is a wounding or an injury. It’s not about the knife — it’s about how the skin is affected.”
Understanding trauma this way is central to the idea that trauma is defined as an internal injury, not an event, rather than something measured by severity or comparison.
Trauma Is an Internal Injury, Not an External Story
Two people can live through the same situation and emerge very differently. One may recover quickly, while the other develops long-term symptoms such as anxiety, emotional numbing, sleep disturbance, or relational difficulties.
This is not because one person is stronger or weaker.
It is because their nervous systems processed the experience differently.
Trauma occurs when the nervous system is overwhelmed and unable to complete its natural stress response. Instead of resolving, the response becomes stuck — shaping how the body, emotions, and mind continue to react long after the danger has passed.
This is why trauma is best understood as an internal physiological and psychological injury, rather than a memory problem or a failure of coping. For readers who want more clinical depth, we’ve published a deeper explanation of psychological trauma that expands on this definition.
This framework also underpins how Living Free works with trauma-related conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Why “Nothing Bad Happened” Is Often a Red Flag
One of the most common phrases therapists hear is:
“I don’t think I have trauma. Nothing really happened.”
Ironically, this statement often appears in people who have lived with chronic stress, emotional neglect, relational instability, or prolonged pressure for many years.
Trauma does not require a single catastrophic moment. In fact, some of the most entrenched trauma develops quietly, without obvious markers.
This is why many people have trauma without realising it, even when their lives appear outwardly functional.
When trauma develops through repetition rather than shock, it is often associated with complex trauma caused by repeated stress over time.
The Three Ways Trauma Develops
In the conversation, Reshie introduces a metaphor that helps clarify why trauma is so frequently missed.
“There are three scenarios where a wound occurs. A very sharp knife. Very tender skin. Or repeated blows over time.”
These three pathways explain most trauma presentations seen in clinical practice.
1. Overwhelming Events (The Sharp Knife)
These are the experiences most people associate with trauma:
- Serious accidents
- Physical or sexual assault
- Sudden bereavement
- Natural disasters
These events overwhelm almost any nervous system, regardless of resilience or preparation.
2. Vulnerability Periods (Tender Skin)
At certain times in life, the nervous system is more exposed:
- Childhood and adolescence
- Major illness or loss
- Burnout or exhaustion
- Relationship breakdowns
During these periods, even moderate stress can penetrate deeply. This often becomes clearer later in life when people notice how early trauma shows up later in adulthood.
3. Repeated, Cumulative Stress (The Blunt Knife)
This is the most overlooked pathway into trauma.
Repeated emotional pressure, chronic stress, relational inconsistency, or environments that require disconnection from the body slowly erode the nervous system’s capacity to regulate.
Katrina notes:
“People are often astonished to discover they have trauma, because nothing ‘big’ ever happened.”
Statistically, this third pathway accounts for a large proportion of adult trauma cases, particularly those linked to ongoing relational and developmental trauma.
Why Trauma Looks Different in Every Person
Trauma does not produce a single set of symptoms.
Some people become anxious and hyper-alert.
Others feel emotionally numb or disconnected.
Some develop perfectionism or over-functioning patterns.
Others struggle with memory, sleep, or intimacy.
These differences reflect how each nervous system adapted to survive.
As Katrina explains:
“It’s about hearing what life is like in that person’s body, rather than applying a general approach.”
This is why Living Free prioritises individual psychotherapy tailored to your nervous system, rather than rigid treatment protocols. It also aligns with clinical guidance on how trauma is assessed and treated in practice.
Trauma Responses Are Intelligent, Not Pathological
One of the most damaging myths about trauma is that it reflects weakness, fragility, or lack of resilience.
In reality, trauma responses are adaptive survival strategies.
Avoidance, emotional numbing, hypervigilance, dissociation, control, or over-achievement all begin as attempts to manage overwhelm.
They are not signs that something went wrong.
They are signs that something worked — at least for a time.
“These systems were doing their job,” Reshie explains. “They just haven’t been told that things are different now.”
This is why trauma symptoms often cluster across multiple domains rather than appearing in isolation, as outlined in the six domains used in trauma recovery.
Why Trauma Is Often Missed or Misdiagnosed
Because trauma can present as anxiety, burnout, ADHD-like symptoms, or relationship difficulties, it is frequently misunderstood.
People are treated for surface symptoms without addressing the underlying nervous system injury.
This is especially common in chronic stress and stress-related disorders, and in presentations where nervous system dysregulation overlaps with ADHD.
Trauma is not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it reveals itself through patterns:
- Persistent over-reactivity or shutdown
- Chronic tension or fatigue
- Difficulty feeling safe even when life is stable
- Repeating relational dynamics
Why This Understanding Changes the Healing Process
When trauma is understood as an internal injury rather than a personal failing, something important shifts.
Shame decreases.
Curiosity increases.
Agency returns.
Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?”, people begin asking:
- What happened to my nervous system?
- What was this response protecting me from?
- What does my system need now?
This is why effective trauma therapy is grounded in safety and trust, rather than forcing insight or exposure too quickly.
Trauma Is Not Your Identity — It’s a State That Can Change
Trauma is not who you are.
It is something that happened within you, and it can be worked with.
With the right conditions, the nervous system can relearn safety, flexibility, and connection. Patterns that once felt permanent can soften. Responses that once felt automatic can become choices.
Not because you push harder, but because your system no longer needs to protect you in the same way.
Watch the Full Conversation on YouTube
This article is drawn from a long-form conversation between Living Free’s Clinical Director Reshie and senior therapist Katrina, exploring trauma through lived clinical experience, nervous system science, and relational healing.
Watch the full conversation on YouTube to hear the nuance and context behind these ideas.